2yo hates daycare

My 2yo son has been going to day care since he could, really. Over time, he has become more and more adverse to going. He now throws a tantrum nearly every day when his mom or I drop him off. He fusses as soon as he realizes we're in the parking lot; he clings and holds tight as we walk in; putting him down to sign in, he goes completely limp and begins throwing yet another epic fit.His behavior there is a bit worrying as well. He doesn't share. Everything is "mine" (not mine, actually, but he uses his first name). Even one little girl in the 1yo class when he was in there he once claimed as his.He plays alone almost exclusively. I've always been pretty much the same, but I can't say if I was at his age. We also recently were told he was delayed, due to some test a teacher filled out, and which we were prompted to supply our own answers for. Turns out, most the the "issues" were unrecognized by us -- meaning, he isn't like that at home. If he's fussing because he can't find something and I tell him to look under the couch, he gets down and looks under the couch. If I (all I's could also be mom, of course) -- if I ask to close something, he closes it. Apparently, he refuses to listen to his teachers at all and stubbornly acts as if he doesn't understand.Now his mom has come with some diagnosis -- Selective Mutism. She, from really early on, thought he was on the spectrum. But this kid was like a light-year ahead of the social smile, and he gives good eye contact to myself and his mother, at the very least. Anyway, none of the signs of autism are there, and she gave that up. But being a worried mother -- daily traumatized by his behavior when dropping him off -- she's now come up with this. Due to work schedules, I'm usually the one dropping him off nowadays but she did yesterday and says she hung around for an hour and noticed a marked difference in his behavior -- and came with this Selective Mutism. I can't remember if maybe one of the employees brought it to her attention or not.Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I'm wondering if anybody else out there has gone through something like this in the past and what they did and what were the results. We're in a major metropolitan area, but I'm from a very rural area and I'm always sceptical of diagnoses and "therapy" and "intervention". That's a really tightly packed statement that I'm leaving in, but don't feel like expanding or defending -- let the downvotes begin! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2DNoJSr