Since the birth of our first baby late last year my relationship and feelings towards my husband have changed for the worse.Before the baby we had a fantastic relationship. We rarely argued. We went out all the time and there was a lot of romance.18 months ago we moved a considerable distance to a new city and each of us started a new job. I became pregnant with our daughter just a month after starting my new position. We were trying, and it happened on our first try.Work was hard for me during pregnancy. I was new and pregnant and did not have a good relationship with my boss. He is a terrible manager who plays favorites, doesn’t have his team’s back (except of course for the favorite), etc. The whole company is toxic, really. On top of that I wasn’t bonding with the coworkers who were all younger than me, single, less senior (some reported to me so there were weird dynamics). It definitely did not help that I couldn’t go drink at happy hours with them. In the end I was totally isolated. Meanwhile my husband was pretty much having the opposite experience in his new position. Everything is going great for him and he’s on top of the world.Fast forward to the birth of our daughter. The birth was pretty tough, I almost died. Our baby was very healthy. I love her and am very happy to be a mom. My husband is so very happy and in love with her—which is awesome. He helps a lot with caring for the baby. Night feeds, diaper changes, everything.However, he’s not just helpful with the baby—he is over the top controlling and overprotective with her. Nothing I do is right. Nothing I dress her in is right. Anything I say regarding how to care for her is dismissed but if another mother (eg our nanny, his mom, his female coworkers who are mothers) tells him something it’s accepted without question as truth. Their preferences on how to take care of and raise the baby trumps mine (because as a new/inexperienced mom what do I know, right?).We fight all the time now. Little things I used to let go I no longer have the patience to tolerate and so this adds to our fighting. He has so much love and affection for our baby while his love and affection for me has dwindled to almost nothing. His whole world is our baby and I feel like I’m being pushed out.All of this has been compounded by my poor work environment. I was becoming extremely isolated and unhappy. I left my job a month ago. I took a few weeks to myself and started a new position somewhere else. I’ve only been there a week but so far things are going well. I’m praying that I will fit in and love this new position and small company. I don’t think I can handle another toxic workplace experience.This is getting long so I’ll stop here. I guess what I’m looking for are some kind words. Encouragement. Advice. Does it get better? When? Will the feelings I used to have for my husband come back?I am afraid that I will slowly continue to resent him until I hate him and have no love for him anymore. Help! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2ZEuv1G
No comments:
Post a Comment