Tantrums at night so bad that my daughter vomits

I have a 3 year old daughter who is generally a pleasant kid and doesn't really throw tantrums during the day. At night however, she literally is a nightmare. She fights every aspect of going to sleep - what she wears to bed, brushing her teeth, stories, etc. Eventually we get her to bed and she sleeps a couple of hours and then wakes up. She's so upset that she doesn't know what she wants - there is literally no way to placate her. And it's not nightmares that are waking her up - we've been through that with her and this is different. She's so upset that she will literally hit and kick you if you try to pick her up or hug her. She's completely out of control. Then the kicker is that she gets so wound up and upset that she starts coughing, which then triggers her really sensitive gag reflex and vomits. Last night this happened three separate times. I'm totally at a loss at what to do to prevent these tantrums or de-escalate them at the time. Any advice would be much appreciated <3 via /r/Parenting https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/bjgrmw/tantrums_at_night_so_bad_that_my_daughter_vomits/?utm_source=ifttt