Hating motherhood.

So I have never wanted children in my life. I’ve always thought they were gross & very annoying. I’ve always hated being around them. Last February I found out I was pregnant and I couldn’t go through with an abortion so I had my son in September he was 8 weeks early, he is 3 months old now and I don’t know what to do I feel so bad bc I can’t stand crying from babies or children it makes me so mad to the point I grind my teeth. I feel like I have anger problems when it comes to kids & ive always been like that I’ve never been able to handle kids younger than me or especially babies. I still don’t want to hold anyone else’s kids or babies I still think they are disgusting honestly but I have one & it’s making it very hard on me I feel like I ruined my life but I don’t want to resent my son for something that’s not his fault. Of course I love my baby, & I hold him play with him and take care of him but he cries for NO REASON all the f-ing time. My man has him spoiled & I can’t handle it especially when I haven’t felt great lately. I feel like I need to take anger management I shouldn’t be this angry at my baby for crying but I hate it I’ve literally chipped a tooth this week from grinding my teeth together he’s driving me crazy. Advice/help please PLEASE no judgement I’m a young mom who feels like she ruined her life by having this baby so don’t make me feel like I failed as a mom too. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2VnYqtM