Speech and language delay

I’m on mobile so excuse the format. And the length. If this isn’t an appropriate forum for this, I’m sorry. I just really need a place to vent and this seems like the best spot.I’m really struggling here. With guilt and fear mostly. I feel like I’ve tried to do everything right and the situation is complicated enough that I don’t think I can get it out here without forgetting something. TLDR at the bottom.We just got referred to a speech therapist and an autism specialist for my 3 yo son. He is quite delayed with his speech. He talks but it is very difficult to understand him (my husband and I understand about 1/2 of what he says - give or take). He is delayed on his potty training. There’s a few other things that our doctor mentioned, but I can’t remember them at the moment.I feel guilty because I think “i should or could have done more reading or been more proactive” but he’s always been so resistant to so many things. If something isn’t happening according to plan (whatever that plan is) we have to deal with total meltdowns.I know what some of you may be thinking because I think it myself “well you just need to be consistent and firm with rules and boundaries (we are). Don’t spoil him (we don’t). Don’t just let him get away with stuff (this from my husband, admittedly there have been occasions where the meltdown just isn’t worth it).”I blame myself for every issue because there must have been something I didn’t do right with him.I compare him to our daughter (13 now) when she was his age and it’s night and day. Where she was predictable and responded well to rules and limits and was a pretty chill kid he is so intense we can barely keep up. Constantly climbing and jumping and running. “Oh, he’s just a boy” you might say. I can’t begin to fully describe a single day in my house. It’s beyond nerve wracking.TLDR: 3yo with some developmental concerns (possible autism), my self blame, my whining about life. Sorry. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2ww8K8f