So burnt out. So tired of struggling.

I mostly lurk on this forum but I just need to vent. I don't have anyone else I can talk to irl. So you guys are gonna be my therapist for today.I knew becoming a mom would be hard. My child's father left me very early on in my pregnancy and I thought I was prepared to handle single momming on my own. I moved back in with my mom and my disabled sister to help save money. I worked two jobs up until the day I went into labor and went right back to both jobs at six weeks postpartum.Goddamn it is hard.I am struggling so much more than I ever have before. I'm the only one who has a car. My mom watches my LO for me so I can work but she guilt trips me at every chance she gets. I suffer from PPD but I've yet to actually see somebody about it because my sister has several appointments a week or my mom needs to use my car. I pay the rent, the light bill, the water bill and the internet. I make too much working both jobs to receive any type of help so I have to buy mine and my LO's food/formula while my mom uses her EBT to buy herself and my sister's food.I get 50/month from my child's sperm donor and had to fight tooth and nail to make him pay his part. He doesn't acknowledge our child as his. He accused me of trying to trap him when he's the one who took off the condom while we had sex. He is an ex for a very good reason.I'm just tired of struggling. Tired of going to work two different jobs on 3-4 hours of sleep. Tired of being away from my baby anywhere between 12-16 hours a day. Tired of my mom feeling entitled to my paychecks to fund her lifestyle.My shoes have holes in them, when it rains my feet get soaked and I can't justify spending money on getting a new pair. I'm in danger of losing both of my jobs because I can't afford a new pair of shoes for each one because my mom thinks I should fund her lifestyle under the guise of her watching my baby/us living with her. I know, having a disabled child like my sister sucks ass and is a drain on the finances but it's also a drain on me and she just doesn't get it. I work so hard to just end up with nothing to show for it.I can't remember the last time I bought any thing nice for myself. I can't remember the last time I had anything good happen. I'm always paying off some bill for my mom or giving her money because she pulls the "I don't have to watch your child for you!" Card. A good 75% of both of my paychecks goes to the bills. I only make 7.25 an hour at one job and 2.15 an hour at my 2nd (waitressing sucks and I have to share tips with the other waiters). I struggle so hard just to make ends meet.I just want the clouds to part and I get a little break. I love my baby and will do anything for her but holy crap. I just want to take a nice bubble bath or get a beer without my mom flipping her shit. I want to go to a movie or eat a meal in peace. I haven't had any of that since I was 13 weeks along. And it's not like I can tell my mom to knock it off or else she will kick us out and we have nowhere else to go. I can't afford 1500-2200 a month in daycare costs.Sorry for the whiney vent but hey, better to get it out than keep it in I guess. I just wish someone had told me how hard it would be. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OZIZnI