Forewarning this is long and a little rambling. It’s 3am and I can’t sleep thinking about all of this.My 4.5yr old son may be on the autism spectrum but he’s never been diagnosed. Yesterday he had an evaluation by a speech therapist who recommended not only speech but OT as well, as she believes he has sensory and impulsivity issues. This isn’t shocking news to me or my husband. I’ve always known my son was a little different from other kids.He’s been in preschools since he was 20 months. At 3.5-4 he was in a new school and it was the teacher there that recommended an evaluation. The school prior never said anything. He’s always passed his developmental check lists from the pediatrician I guess, although never with flying colors. We actually had him evaluated twice before at 16m when he wasn’t walking and then again at 3 yrs when his speech wasn’t developing at the rate of his peers. Both times he didn’t qualify for additional help. We were always told something along the lines of “Kids develop at different rates, he’ll catch up, etc.”.He was born just over 4 weeks earlier from my due date, induced for my preeclampsia. When he was born his glucose was slow low it wouldn’t register and he was in the Nicu, just for one week, then needed oxygen for 2 months. He always acted more like a 32 weeker than a 36 weeker (IMO as a former NICU nurse). He had feeding issues and colic as a baby. He’s developmental milestones were always delayed. Although he did eventually catch up with most things.The whole spectrum thing I’m not sure about yet and of course there will be more evaluations in the future. His speech isn’t perfect and I have to interpret a lot of what he said for strangers but it does improve daily. He makes eye contact but not all the time and certainly not when he’s in trouble. We couldn’t get him to sit in a time out until recently- he just doesn’t stay still. When he was younger he liked to line things up. He still does but doesn’t get mad if it gets messed up.He interacts with the other kids, but mostly one on one play but he does behave well in a group setting. He says hi to strangers all the time and is very empathetic. He’s only gotten in trouble for hitting once at school. But then again he only has one real friend outside of school. He never gets invited to bday parties. Where we live we don’t have a lot of friends with kids.I recently brought him to my hometown on a trip and it was eye opening to see him with the other kids his age that I know so well from pictures but not real life. In most cases he acts a year younger than he is, with his impulsivity speech and ways of playing. Also he learned how to drink from a cup and not just a sippy or straw cup. All the other kids use cups without spilling. That was eye opening. Now I’m worried we’ve babied him too much and part of his delay is our fault.We moved around a lot. He hasn’t lived in the same house for more than 1.5 yrs at a time. We are moving across the country again next summer. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to have one home, one pediatrician one school ect. With all these things coming together I wonder if we missed signs early enough to get him help. As a parent I knew something was off but couldn’t really articulate it and the pediatrician didn’t think it was anything to worry about, neither did the DOE assessment 1.5 years ago. Sometimes I think, “he’s just, unique, imaginative, kids have too many labels these days ect” and other times I wonder if I should have advocated sooner, pushed harder to get him extra help. I wonder if I hesitated because I’m just really scared to have a child with autism or sensory issues or adhd which now all seem like he could fit into parts of all these categories.TL/DR: I’m afraid I let my son down by not getting therapy for his issues sooner. He’s a little different from peers but not drastically, so I’m afraid he’s slipped through some cracks as far as getting help when he should have. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2PleNDq
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