How to deal with abusive partner?

Hey there,sorry if I am rambling a bit but hard to put my thoughts in order on this. First of, I have a wonderful 16 month old daughter, very good child, calm, nearly never cries, except when protesting if you take her toy away for a bit. Not talking, a bit late in development... this may normalize or become a permanent problem - the hospital messed up her birth extremely badly and well ya that is a whole can of shit on its own..The reason why I am writing is that my wife is really a terrible parent at times and I do not know what to do anymore. To me it looks like she has a depression and should go to therapy, but she refuses this absolutely.So that you get an idea of what is happening. I work full time, I do the shoppings, I cook, I play with my daughter when I get home, often prepare food for her too my wife can freeze to save time. What my wife does is the day to day life, cooking for her, dishes, washing, ironing diapers etc. the works. A cleaning lady comes twice a month to help out and my mother takes our daughter when she can (around once a week).Yet I get at least once a day from my wife things like "I can't anymore". She always snaps at me, for literally everything. I call her to ask if I shall pick something up from the grocery store and I get yelled at for making her think about that. I offer to change the diapers, she refuses or when she lets me I get criticised how I do it...This is all stuff I would honestly not care about, if it would only affect me. But she spouts out her anger at our daughter too. And I simply don't want to tolerate this. I think it is horrible. She always tells me how much she loves her only to scream at her when she doesn't hold her arm perfectly when she gets dessed. I know parents often have wrong perception about their own kids, but I talked with two of my Cousins who have five kids between them and they agree that my daughter is an incredibly easy child.I just want my wife to stop screaming and letting her anger out at everyone, especially my daughter. I talked with her a dozen times and she refuses therapy at all. I am simply out of ideas... any advise is appreciated. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2zoc0Td