Rule Enforcement by Other Adults?

So, I'm a big believer that it takes a village. I generally expect any house rule of mine to be enforced by other adults who are familiar to us, like close family and friends/neighbors we see regularly. For example, if we had a weekend gathering and I said no cookies before dinner and my kid asked someone (who for these purposes knew the expectation) for a cookie while I was out of the room, trying to be sneaky, I'd expect them to say "Sorry buddy, mom said after dinner." Or at minimum "I think you should check with mom and dad about that, pal."So tonight we have several kids here (aged 7-10) while my SIL/BIL and their neighbors are at a party. Total time for my husband and I to hold down the fort is only about two hours, no sweat, at their house. SIL has been crystal clear with her daughter all day that she's had too much iPad time lately and if she catches her sneaking onto it again she's changing the wifi password and she'll lose all her privileges. Well, they head out and we're all sitting around and everyone is playing and having fun when daughter skulks off and returns with the iPad and curls up in the corner with it. I said casually "Hey sister, I'm pretty sure mom said no more iPad today. Why don't you come join us instead? This game is really fun." She declined and essentially ignored me. I said not another word. My husband got mad and said I had no place "speaking to her like that" and it's none of my business. I said I felt basic house rules were indeed the business of the adult in charge, and while I wouldn't make a big deal I did feel it was appropriate to try to encourage the desired behavior and I would probably let mom know about it seeing as she set a very firm expectation of a child plenty old enough to understand. He disagreed.What do you guys think? Am I crazy here? I am 90% sure my SIL would be okay with this given prior discussions we've had in a similar vein when they are visiting at my house and I ask her kids (who are a tad wilder than some) to not run inside, or ask before helping themselves to the pantry, etc. I would definitely not correct behavior with a parent present unless there was an immediate safety concern.Tl;dr: is it acceptable (or even expected) for family and close friends to try to enforce rules they know to be in place when mom and dad are away/unavailable? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fW2hNw