Raising mentally tough kid?

I was wondering if there's a scientific backed-up studies on how to raise a mentally tough/resilient kids?My husband and I have two very different personalities. While I am more of a people person, can understand people better and more resilient towards failure/changes/disappointment, my husband is the other way around. He is very intelligent (have two masters degree and will be doing his PhD later this year), capable of doing very deep and thorough analysis and I admire him for that, but he has lack of communication skill and very prone to anxiety/depressive state when things do not go as predicted/planned.I was really spoiled as a child, have wealthy parents so finance was never an issue. Unlike other Asian parents, my parents never demanded me to be the top student or have excellent grades. I was so lucky to spent my youth volunteering a lot and this was where I was faced with so many responsibilities, faced so many differences, interacted with many kinds of people of all ages. I overcame hardships that come through these activities. I learned life lessons through many volunteering experiences that I believe was responsible to my now resilient self and I'm forever grateful for it. Of course I was very lucky because I had no financial burdens and was able to spend my time and energy elsewhere.But my in laws are exactly the opposite. So my husband (also Asian) grew up in a constant scolding of his father demanding his grades to be excellent, to be always on the top and they used up all their savings to send my husband to university. Of course my husband did not get to experience anything else besides studying. He was too busy becoming the exceptional son his parents want him to be. He indeed got into a top university and always has this underlying unconscious thoughts that he has to be the best. He works in a good consultation firm overseas with very decent salary and is going to study for his PhD (he wants to work in an R&D job tied with the PhD position). At this point I'm sure his parents are very proud of him and demand nothing else. Their wish have been dutifully fulfilled.Except that the way my husband was brought up is damaging his mental health. He is often not happy. He has anxiety whenever things don't go as predicted or if he thinks his performance at work is low. The thing is, he is actually doing a really good job but never satisfied because his seniors are doing better job (of course they do, they are seniors). He feels like he still needs to be on top and this is very draining to his mental health. My husband cannot face disappointment and are often depressed if caught in a tricky situation (as people working in consultation often face) because he feels he couldn't handle the job, while in fact he is doing just fine (I actually know this because we're working in the same company - different divisions).As a parent, of course I want my kids to be successful and happy. And content. But more importantly I want them to be resilient. I want them to be able to overcome any disappointments that life eventually offers - rejections, failure, etc. and to be mentally strong to face all the ugly things.From my own experience, it means letting them take responsibilities in a real life situation as early in life as possible e.g through volunteering. I was wondering if there is a scientifically-backed method or any advice on how to improve resilience for kids? I don't mind depriving my kids off of entitlements but to what extent? Any advice or sharing would be appreciated! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2KohUI6