Husband got busted by kids-what to do?

So a parent put out a plea for play dates. I volunteered and a date was set up. Turns out I was called into work for that day, and my entire family all insisted we had to cancel. My husband is like “Not my problem. I didn’t sign up for this.” All 3 kids were adamant that it wouldn’t work having a play date without me. I asked a kid what I do for them that Daddy doesn’t. “ You feed us. You watch us. You play with us.” Eventually it came out that, when I am working on a weekend, no one gets fed meals and my husband simply goes up into his office and shuts the door for the duration.I am still livid. Our two youngest are preschool aged and have been known to leave the back yard and head down the street. I always wondered why I would come home after work and the kids would be crazy. They haven’t been fed and have not had any supervision, turning them into snack addled, unsupervised beasts.The interesting part is the kids on some level understand how inappropriate it is for a play date, but have never spoken up for themselves.So out of respect for the good judgment of my children, I texted about my being gone and how there was some concern expressed by the kids that the playdate would not go well without my being there. Parent called bullshit and said they were not going to cancel.They ended up going to a well-supervised-by-professionals outdoor activity. And, he could get away with feeding them McDonald’s so no risk of starving out the kids.But learning it has been this way for over a year ( when on call job started ) kills me on the inside. I have been hatching a plan to leave him for years now for a variety of reasons. Given the certainty of a 50/50 custody arrangement, now I am very concerned about his desire to be a parent at all. And with that comes the fear of any of it coming to fruition- how badly would he neglect them 50% of the time, or on the other hand, could I handle having 100% custody?Any wisdom for following up with my husband? Not that he listens to me. If I raise an issue that puts him in a bad light he blows up and yells and points out how bad I am at fill-in-the-blank, then becomes a volatile a-hole to everyone in the household for a few hours up until the next day. ( Yes, we’ve done couples counseling and even a parenting consultant. He is agreeable with professionals, then immediately blows everything off). But he MUST do the minimum to keep the kids fed and safe when I’m not there. Suggestions? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OSw1bk