How to deal with a defiant toddler?

Each day, it seems like my 3 year old gets more and more defiant. She used to at least listen when I’d tell her to do some basic self-care like sitting on the potty but since she turned 3, it’s like each day she’s cranking up the “no I don’t want to” dial up a notch. She refuses to do many things like brushing her teeth, sitting on the potty, sitting and eating her meal for 15 minutes, getting dressed, sitting in her car seat.....the list goes on and on.Anything she doesn’t feel like doing that’s not fun, she says no and flat out defies unless I physically overpower her (hate doing this), I discipline her (she hates this and i also hate this but it gets her to do what I’m asking of her) or I try to persuade her by making the activity I’m asking her to do sound fun and exciting or turning it into a game (this works best but TAKES FOREVER - can turn a teeth brushing session from 2 minutes to 10 minutes just because she won’t open her mouth and I’ve spent 8 minutes trying to cajole her into opening it so she can brush her teeth).I try to explain why we do things at a basic level to her so that it’s not just me saying “do this because I say so” and that sometimes helps, but in moments where I really need her to cooperate instead of throwing a tantrum or outright being defiant when I ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do, I’m wondering if there’s something I’m doing wrong to make her so incredibly defiant? Like if she doesn’t want to go somewhere I’m asking her to go, she’ll sit on the floor or basically turn into dead weight so I have to pick her up. Again I hate to overpower her because I know she is trying to wrest for some amount of control in her life, but I feel like I already give her some by offering her choices in things like what she wants to wear, or I let her pick what fruit she wants to eat for meals, what afternoon activity she would like to do (color on paper or draw with window markers? That kind of thing), etc.I’m just not sure how much defiance is normal in toddlers or if this is her way of telling me something is wrong and she’s not handling it well. She’s had to deal with a number of changes in her life in the past 8 months, including moving and a new baby sister and the biggest change was that her dad and i separated, which is why I’m trying to be more lenient and empathetic. Can anyone share whether they’ve had this level of defiance in a toddler and how they handled it so that their toddler doesn’t come out emotionally damaged? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2PvwJvZ