My son just turned 3 and is very interested in sports, so we asked if he'd like to participate in the local 3 year old soccer program. He was very excited - picked out his ball, talks soccer nonstop, etc.Today was a disaster. He refused to participate at first. He's always been very "slow to warm up". At daycare, he often still cries and clings to us at drop off even though he's been there for 2.5 years and at the end of the day never wants to leave. So I wasn't shocked when he was clingy at first.All the parents stand inside the field on the sidelines, so he came and stood with me a little bit. All of the other kids were having fun, playing together, generally following rules. I asked my son if he wanted to play, and he said no. I was calm, reassuring, told him he could stand with me for a little and then try again, I could go with him to the circle, etc.Eventually this escalated into a tantrum wanting to leave. The coaches tried to include him, I tried to lead him to the group. He became combative, started yelling at me and the coaches, kicking balls away if they came near him, covering his ears, scowling at everyone. I told him yelling isn't OK. He can play or we can watch the other kids nicely. This escalated into full on stomping, screaming that he wanted to leave RIGHT NOW, etc. When I asked why, he said because he hated it here and wanted to go home and watch tv!I had no idea what to do. I felt like leaving would be rewarding the tantrum. It escalated into hitting, hair pulling. I was so shocked and so mortified. Every parent and child was just staring at us while I tried to hold back tears and wrestle him into his coat to get out. He continued screaming hysterically in the car for ten minutes before I could even get him into the carseat to leave.Every kid tantrums, I know. But I worry this is part of a larger pattern of behavior. He goes to a great daycare center that regularly communicates about behavior and development. We know he plays well with others, has lots of friends at daycare, lots of playdates. They call him "Mr Snuggles" because he's very affectionate with his teachers and friends, and always offers a hug when someone is upset. His pediatrician and teachers have also commented he's very verbal for his age, so he often can explain to us why he's upset before a tantrum escalates.But we have recently received some reports of difficulty following rules he doesn't like, of always being very dominant with classroom activities, and of trying to explain his rule of XX when the teacher or a friend needs him to do YY. I'm worried if this continues, he's not going to be able to maintain friendships or get along well with others, but I'm having trouble teaching him otherwise. I've noticed that most of his friends at school tend to be the quieter, more passive kids, and we have stopped getting playdate invites from some families. My husband thinks I'm totally over-analyzing this.At home we play together, but he chooses the activity and it's basically free play and he gets to lead. We often have a hard time getting him to do things when we ask him - sit at the table for dinner, put toys away, take a bath. He eventually does it, but it's often a big drama, and eventually he will tell us that he was sad when we made him sit at the table because we weren't following HIS rules. We explain it's a family rule, but he doesn't get it if it's not something he wants to do. We give him a ton of positive reinforcement when he does something well or tries hard, and we also do give him time outs.My husband thinks he's a normal toddler who's very stubborn and shy around new situations, and we should be doing more "You do X because I'm your parent and I said so". I worry he's becoming a brat - his way, or no way, basically, or has some emotional catch-up to do. Yet at the same time, he's so clingy towards me and seems so insecure in some situations.What do I do? Do I make him keep going to soccer? Is this normal 3 year old behavior, or am I clueless :( via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2CMXf1a
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