I have a question about my preteen and this new phase we’re in.

Hey everyone, so I usually don’t ask questions on forums about parenting. I have three kids, my parenting style is a little different than what I’ve seen with others. I treat them like normal people, I don’t sugar coat, I don’t talk like Mickey Mouse, I expect them to be decent human beings. I am very real with them even if sometimes it’s a little harsh. But, I’m entering a new phase and I feel like there isn’t as much room for trial and error like there was when they were toddlers. My nine year old and I don’t get along. We really haven’t since she entered school. She is constantly saying “ you don’t like me”, mainly because she gets reprimanded more than her brother and sister. But she runs her mouth more and uses a bad tone when she talks to everyone all the time. It’s constantly a rude and aggressive tone. I try to spend time wit her but it always ends up in an argument. I don’t know if this is me or if she is just being sensitive. She has really bad anxiety, as do I, but here’s comes out in crying or frustration which leads to crying. The crying drives me crazy. My question is how do I deal with this new phase we’ve entered of pre preteen- ness ( my son is getting there too)? Do I let the attitude slide or do I correct it? If I correct it it’s constant. How do I get a kid with anxiety to talk to me if she is always scared she’ll be in trouble? I know 9 is a important age, because I feel like that’s when a lot of crucial moments arose for me. I kind of remember being 9. I also remember it sucking. I don’t want that for her. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xWhhQi