Should I insist the neighbor gets to come over and play?

My son is almost 10. Our neighbors have a 8 year old son, named Dylan, and our kids play all the time, almost always at our house. During summer vacation they will spend at least 15-20 hours a week at our house, and maybe 2 hours a week at their house. They prefer our house I think because we have toys for older kids and an Xbox, and Dylan has a very busy 3 year old brother who is always in the middle of their play.I am generally fine with him coming over. My son is an only, so I think it's good for him to have lots of play time with other kids, and it keeps my son busy and happy while I'm being productive. Plus my son really likes this kid and enjoys his company.Personally, I find Dylan annoying. He's whiny and demanding and has a bit of an attitude, but he's learned to behave himself with me because I will just boot him out of the house as soon as he starts irritating me.My son's best friend from school is Mike. They've know each other since kindergarten. We plan play dates and sleep overs often so they can hang out. The issue is that Dylan is used to coming over to play whenever he likes, and when the three of them are together it is a problem.Mike is 11 1/2, so there is a big age gap between him and Dylan. Dylan is very jealous of my son's other friendships, so he is a real pill when they all play together. He is bossy, demanding, whiny and is always insisting that HE is my son's real best friend. So of course Mike finds him very annoying, and even my son does not enjoy him when he acts like this. We've talked to him about it, but he does not seem to be able to control himself. He is unschooled and his mom isn't very social, so I think he's just starved for interaction and gets way too worked up about sharing his best friend with Mike.Anyway, a few months ago my son and Mike said they didn't want Dylan to come over any more when Dylan is over to play. I said fine, because they have a right to play without all the drama, and honestly, I think it will help Dylan to learn that his behavior has consequences. A few times I have told them to let him play for an hour, or some kind of compromise, and then it always ends badly. Dylan acts like he always acts and then leaves angry and crying that it's over. It is tiring.I have been tactful but candid with Dylan's parents about the situation. While they are very nice people, they seem to either have no idea how to deal with this part of their son's personality, or they don't care.So just last night Mike came over with his parents, and soon after Dylan was knocking at the door. My son and Mike answered the door together, Dylan asked them if he could come play and told them he would give them both a pokemon card(!) if they let him come over. They "politely" said, no, sorry, bye, and shut the door. I heard Dylan walk away loudly wailing about how he hates Mike and the boys are so mean to him.So on one hand, I feel like my child has the right to play with his friend without having to put up with all this nonsense from Dylan, and if he would just play nicely he would be able to come over. However, since he won't do that, it is fine for my son to tell him no.But then on the other hand I don't want to be unkind to this boy, even if he brings it on himself, and of course I want to teach my son about kindness and how important it is to be loyal to our friends.So what do you think? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2uvlMPW