I was never going to hit my kids. I hated people who did it and I was never going to be one of them. The people who did it deserved to have their kids taken off them. Then, I had kids. A 9 year old boy and a 7 year old girl and now a little baby.I have hit my 9 year old 3 times in his life in anger. I hated myself every single time and vowed when he was 7 that I was never going to do it again. I haven't and am proud of that. It's been 2 years. I do shout at him occasionally and I'm not happy about that either but I've noticed it's usually after a really sleep deprived night.Now, my daughter is a whole other kettle of fish. She has always been a stubborn child (like mother like daughter eh) and has never responded to confiscating toys, time outs positively. The only time I have ever seen her really go out to improve herself is after I have completely lost my temper and hit her. Again, I am not condoning this.When I think over it I've probably hit her 7 times in her life. I am completely ashamed. I have become that person that I was never going to be. Every time, I have said sorry and we have ended up in a tearful hug. Every time I personally vow that it will be the last time. So far it has been four months since the last time and I am trying really, really hard. I write this because tonight me and my daughter nearly came to blows. It comes off the back of an awful weekend, in which she broke a photo frame, called me fat and broke her brothers ball. She was refusing to leave her room and after asking several times, I pushed her out. I feel like once again I have failed but am also happy that it wasn't a slap. I also then shouted at her in a way I never have before; telling her to shut up because if she didn't care for the families feelings we didn't care for hers. Awful, I know. I just don't know how to get past this. I feel like an awful mother. Afterwards, we spoke. She told me that she cried because she was shocked and that she was sorry for her behaviour. Then she hugged me and cried. I ended up crying to and said sorry too. What a mess.I don't condone slapping in anyway and I don't think I ever will; but I have certainly got more realistic about it. I think there are probably moments in every parents life when they have that urge. Whether you follow it through is completely different though.I'm also quite mixed on shouting, I was never a big shouter until I had my son and my patience has definitely gotten shorter since that. Again, before this incident I hadn't shouted in a month.Aside from these sudden bursts of emotion; me and my children are very close. I know that ever since I have had the baby I have hit my daughter 3 times. I love my children to bits. I would never smack as a punishment or in a planned way- like I know people who do controlled spanking. And I would never say they deserve to be hit. Before this incident I had probably hit her something like once a year. I should probably look at that. I don't even know anymore.Are there any other parents that have vowed to never smack, then had their temper get the better of them? Or is there anyone else who has managed to completely give up hitting all together? Or are there any women who have seen there temper spin out of control with there other children after giving birth? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2sgonMH
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