Have I created a five-year-old monster??

Obligatory, I’m on mobile disclaimer.To start: my daughter has a fatal lung disease. We found out when she was six weeks old, and it’s been hell since. She looks, acts, and for all intents and purposes IS a completely normal child, you’d never know she was fatally ill unless you heard her cough, in which case people tend to spin around and be like, “WTF is a three-pack-a-day rhinoceros doing in Costco??” She runs around like a normal kid. She also happens to have a short life expectancy.I know I treat her differently because of her disease; it’s hard not to when her mortality is constantly in my face with therapies and hospital stays and medications and everything else. But I think I’ve deferred to her wants because I feel so bad about her health issues, and now I’ve created a monster.My daughter hates to clean. Hates to pick up her toys, hates to be told no, hates any day that isn’t filled with nonstop fun from sunup to sundown. I don’t know how to help her learn to be responsible and I’ve started to become my mother (heaven help me), by which I mean threatening to throw her toys away unless they’re picked up in ten minutes, which causes complaining and yelling on her end, crying and carrying on, and then yelling on my end. I hate the kind of mother I’m becoming, one who threatens her child and leverages by withholding things she loves in order to get short term compliance.This morning after a squabble about fruit snacks for breakfast, she ran into my room and slammed the door. I told her she couldn’t be in my room and she was welcome to go to her own room to calm down, and she hit me (freakin hard) in my leg.I KNOW that short-term compliance=long term issues, but for the life of me, I have no idea how to get my daughter to be responsible for her own things and perform the tasks that I know she is completely capable of doing, or hear the word “no” and accept it as a final answer (even though I never change my mind!).I feel like I’ve created a monster. I don’t want to be a mean mom, and I want more respectful and responsible behavior from my kid. Is there a way to get both when I’ve screwed up so far??TL;DR I’ve spoiled my daughter with a fatal disease, now she acts like an entitled monster who can’t hear the word “no” without a meltdown. Please help. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2pCRNoY