Its okay for boys to cry. Men cry, too. Humans cry - it’s healthy and normal.

My son just turned 4 years old last week. Since the beginning of last year, I have caught him holding back tears whenever he fell hard enough that an adult would tear up had it been them who fell.I’ve seen him struggle to contain big emotions of anger, sadness and disappointment and refuse my comfort or help because, and I quote, “I’m NOT a baby. I’m a big boy. I’m a man. Big boys don’t cry, only babies cry.”I’ve seen him hide himself, his face, in moments of true sadness because he was ashamed of the intensity of his feelings and refused to allow a tear to drop, even in front of his mother.He’s 4 years old for crying out loud!I know he didn’t learn this from his father who is open about his emotions to our children. I talked to the school and I know it isn’t coming from a stern teacher; they’re all very, very loving, patient and understanding teachers of whom I trust.But there is a boy who has been bullying others, including my son, and during my time volunteering at the school, I saw that he was the source of this talk. He, too is only 3 - 4 years old but he carries himself like a cynical adult and chastises anyone, mostly boys, for showing any kind of strong emotions. I try to be gentler and more patient in my interactions with him because it’s clear that he’s rehearsing and on-guard of his emotions at all times.So at Christmas time, I made a point to introduced myself to this boy’s father at the school Christmas recital. He was a police officer and not what I’d call warm, welcoming or friendly and I couldn’t quite bring myself to talk to him beyond pleasantries simply because there was a very strong, invisible border put up there.I talked myself out of judging and criticizing this man because I simply cannot know this family’s story. I’ve alerted the school Director of my concerns and I trust that they are capable of handling anything alarming and are perhaps privy to information that’s none of my business. I see their daily efforts in trying to stop the bullying and name-calling to redirect him to be more tolerant and respectful of others as well as encouraging him to express himself. He is disciplined appropriately like all the others and I genuinely believe the school is doing their best.So I’m instead focusing my energy on teaching my son that it’s okay to cry and that everyone cries sometimes - even men.I’m teaching him that it’s okay to feel good when someone hugs you or talks to you when you feel angry or sad. Everyone likes to be hugged and for someone to listen - even men. Everyone gets mad and yells sometimes, even adults - even men.We are humans gifted with many ways to evoke and express our emotions.We have tears because we can cry. We have a voice so we can sing, laugh or shout. We have ears to listen to nature, our children and to the wisdom of others. We have eyes to see how all of our actions, good or bad, can impact a person and the world. We have arms because we can hug, carry and comfort. We have legs to run, jump, kick or stand still. We have a brain to think, dream, ponder, to create memories and to solve puzzles. We have a heart to beat fast or slow; to excite, break, heal and to love.No boy or man should feel the need to suppress their human emotions under the guise of what society deems appropriate and masculine behavior. I find, like anyone, if boys are given the freedom to express their emotions, there are less tantrums when young and less violence when they grow older.Despite what my username suggests, I am female and I’m a mother. I feel that the expectations placed on boys and men can be just as burdensome as those placed upon girls and women. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2GED7wI