I originally posted this in /r/relationships and was told to post here instead. Some of the people in that post said that my wife is being unreasonable or overreacting but I don’t personally think she is. I think she has a right to feel the way she does. I just really miss her and my son and I want to know how to fix this and help her trust me again.My wife and I have been together for a decade and our son is our second child; our first son was three hours old when he died. That’s probably enough identifying information if she sees this, but then again I am desperate here so maybe that’s not such a bad thing.The day after Christmas, my wife was napping in our bedroom and I had our son out on the couch playing. He fell asleep on my chest and I must have dozed off. I woke up to my wife screaming at me and hitting me; my son had rolled into the crook of my arm and was face down with his nose and mouth being blocked. I don’t know how long he was like that.When she picked him up he took a deep breath and woke up, but we called 911 all the same; he ended up being fine and the EMTs reassured us but did give me a lecture about never letting him fall asleep not on his back if someone’s not watching him. I deserved to be screamed at and hit and lectured by the EMTs 100%. I am not debating that at all, please don’t say that my wife is abusive or anything because she was just trying to wake me up and she didn’t hurt me.I should also mention that I am not sleep deprived in the slightest; my son mostly sleeps through the night and when he does wake up, my wife doesn’t usually need me to help, she just breastfeeds him and he falls back asleep. So I have no excuse at all for falling asleep holding my son.Later that night I apologized to my wife in tears. She just looked at me and said, word for word, “You almost killed my baby. I hate you. I will never forgive you.” And pointed at the door. I was so ashamed. I went to the guest bedroom and spent the night there lying awake. I tried to go help her with our son when I heard him wake up in the night but she had locked our bedroom door.The next morning she packed up her things and my son's things and went to stay with her parents for a few days. I even helped her load the car; I knew I needed to give her space. As she was leaving I told her I loved her and my son and I was so sorry, and if she needed anything to call me and I’d be there in a heartbeat. She didn’t answer.She texted me a few times while she was with her parents to ask for me to bring over my son’s tummy time mat and her breast pump, and when I got to her parents house she said to just leave them on the porch because she didn’t want to see me. But since she got home, she literally hasn’t spoken a single word to me and won’t let me hold our son. I only get to see him briefly in the afternoon when I get home from work, before she picks up all his things and retreats into our bedroom.Again I don’t deny at all that I fucked up majorly. I am wracked with guilt every day thinking of what could have happened. But I want a chance to show her that I will never let something like that happen again. at first i thought she was saying she hated me out of anger and she didn’t really believe that, but now I’m beginning to think she did mean it. She can’t possibly hate me more than I hate myself.It’s been 11 days and I have hardly gotten to see my son even though he lives under the same roof, and my wife won’t even look me in the eye. I don’t know what I can do to fix things because I want to give her space. I am thinking of writing her a letter and sliding it under the door, but I’m not sure she’d read it. Any suggestions would be welcome. Thank you.Tl;dr I fell asleep while holding my son and he got stuck with his face blocked and could have suffocated, my wife hasn’t spoken to me in almost two weeks because of it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2CYAN1X
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