So, I am 30F and recently returned to the workforce after 2+ years of being a stay at home parent to two kids. For reference I am not in the US.I got a job working at my kids' school. I have the same hours, and I actually really love the work I do. When my husband and I discussed my return to work, the obvious issue of childcare came up. Kids get sick. I get sick. How will we manage?At the time, our good friends and neighbors said if the need arose we could drop our child(ren) off with their nanny during the day when their 3 kids are at school. I have done this in the past for dr. Appts and similar situations and it works out great for everyone.I also took down the number of my other friend's "temp" nanny that has availability during the day throughout the week, and touched base with her. She said she would be happy to be a contact to babysit on an as-needed basis.So my daughter gets sick. My husband takes the day off work, because my school is run like a business and they are very strict and nitpicky about time off. I was sick as a dog 2 weeks ago and missed 3 days of work and was totally embarrassed--I literally could barely get out of bed that first day. So, I don't want to call my boss and tell her I am missing work AGAIN when I've already gotten raised eyebrows.The temp nanny never responded to me last night. And my friends' plans had changed in recent months to where their nanny will be leaving the house with a driver for like an hour in the middle of the day, and I don't know who can randomly walk over to my friend's house to watch my daughter in the middle of the day.So I am panicking, I'm ringing all my friends, I'm putting out Facebook group messages, etc. 2 kind souls offered me help "If I was really stuck".And this is where my husband and I got in a big fight. He thinks it's normal to rely on friends in this situation since we don't have family. Whereas I am humiliated and embarrassed to be imposing myself on nice people who went through the trouble to hire their own nannies to avoid this very situation. Not to mention our kid is sick, which is also a big inconvenience on top of it.To top it all off, a conversation in my group chat with lady friends went something like this:"Why can't you take the day off work? They won't let you care for your sick child?" I told them I had limited days off and I don't have the seniority my husband has to take personal days."I say let them be annoyed! Don't leave her with someone else, she wants mummy when she is sick,""This is why I don't have a job, I'd love to work but since we don't have a nanny we can't risk it,"Etc etc. In the midst of this whole argument my husband throws it back on me and was like, "Well we talked about this when you decided to go back to work and you said you had taken care of it!" I can't control it if the babysitter didn't respond to my message. I really appreciate that he took the day off but he is a senior person and has much more flexibility than I do. He doesn't get chastised and his job isn't put in jeopardy for taking personal days.So I feel like this is all my fault. I feel like a bad mom for asking someone to babysit my child while ill. I feel like a bad wife for returning to work. I feel like finding alternate childcare is 100% my responsibility--husband rejected my suggestion of hiring someone part-time as he feels it is a waste of money. I am taking advantage of people's goodwill and he just doesn't see why I am upset. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2hgVY9g
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