Biracial nephew and the n-word

I’ll start off apologizing for the jumble of thoughts coming. I’m raising my biracial 4 year old nephew. He’s never met his father and his mother lost custody of him last year. I admit I will never understand as a white woman the challenges that face people of color.Recently my nephew has been saying the n-word. Thanks to my sister who uses it in daily conversations. I’ve explained how the n-word is a hateful word that when we use can hurt people. So that worked for awhile. Today he’s whispering to himself the n-word as we’re walking down the street. I remind him how the word can hurt others. He tells me he’s not saying it to others but to himself. So there I am in the middle of crown heights (heavily Caribbean neighborhood in Brooklyn) thinking how as a white woman do I explain this. I honestly didn’t know what to say. So I asked him why he wanted to call himself that word. He said it’s because he’s black. I don’t know what to say! I’m lost. He is black, I’m white and most of our circle is white. I’m trying to diversify his circle but it’s so hard.I just don’t know how to explain to him why we can’t use the n-word. Is this just my problem? Is it because I’m white that it makes me extra uncomfortable? I’m lost and don’t know what to do. I’m 29, single and never thought I’d be raising him. There’s so many complex layers to this, I’m terrified of messing up.If anyone has any suggestions they would be greatly welcomed. I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing. I love him so much and want him to be comfortable with himself. To love himself and to be proud of who he is. I just don’t know how to accomplish this. Sorry for the ramble. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2F6toOq