First time poster here etc. On mobile so excuse formatting and spelling. If the wrong sub please point me to where I can get some advice.Background on me (married, 30. 1 6 year old. 2 miscarriages last year and tried for 2 years for this little one I am due with in February).I have a 18 year old niece. She is due in April and is currently about 22 weeks pregnant. She got pregnant in July by a 38 year old man who she says claimed he had a vasectomy but she buries her head in the sand and wouldn't even discuss birth control with her mother so who knows if that is true. They broke up and to my knowledge do not talk.She did not have any prenatal care (still won't take prenatals this whole pregnancy ), wouldn't talk about it....didn't even know how far along she was until 18 weeks. Her mother and I forced her to go to an appointment of mine to knock some sense into her. That finally got her somewhat moving but now she's backslided. She made an appointment when I was checking out and at that appointment she made a fool of herself with the nurse because she knew nothing and made out like it was funny. She did not even know basic health history stuff.She is adamant she wants a certain gender. She had an ultrasound at 19 weeks and it is NOT what she wants. She has made comments about if its not what she wants and its concerning. Even her mother is afraid (but mother has said she won't take the baby or take care of it). Currently she has a dog she doesn't take care of...won't walk or feed it and leaves it at her old house alone for awhile...that is what makes her mother afraid. She is almost 22 weeks and still hasn't looked at the envelope to find out what it is. Her new boyfriend is horrible (ever see the that's not love commercial? So much worse) and saying things like "it better be wrong gender" its not and she seems convinced its the wrong gender but won't look. Hes jealous of the baby and she is so wrapped up in him.She works part time at a fast food place. Won't save her money or buy baby stuff. She won't call WIC or make an effort to get any assistance. She moved back in with her mother and is living in her living room. Her mother won't put her foot down and she can't afford anything either. They were stretched trying to buy a $40 crib which that is all they have. The not having anything wouldn't be so bad if they had money to get anything. Its not much time to get everything needed on barely existent income. She does not have a plan for after baby when she can't work. Dad is not involved and she tells people its not his.I wrote a list of everything she needs. They disregarded it. I tried telling her how expensive things are but like all teenagers they ignore and say okay and do what they want. She won't even read apps or books on the baby. I've asked her and her mother to get her therapy or talk to anyone but no. Just nothing.My sister (who is a whole set of different narcissistic stories) is set on doing a gender reveal (I don't know why except for that I had one and she wants to invite my inlaws who will be the only ones coming and they don't know her like that....its weird) even though she can't afford it. She is mad at me because I will be at 31 weeks and I won't deep clean my house and cook on the grill (December in Va) and host it for her. She won't listen that my niece is an introvert and will not want people around when she finds out its not what she wants, plus if she is having money problems with it (she can't even afford food) she needs to focus on buying baby stuff or a baby shower to get things needed.I told her that we would be happy to help in anyway but she ignored that. We would love to adopt (and are pushing for it but not aggressive about it) if it came to that (her face was happy about that and she said "good if its..." and stopped). I don't know what else to do or if there is anymore I can do. It makes me so angry and my anxiety through the roof. It makes everyone else I talk to angry about it because she's being ridiculous and they see how upset I get and know the past two years how hard its been and she just doesn't care about the baby or take care of it. Im very worried that things will go very wrong for this baby.Does anyone have any advice on anything I can do? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AiGUPu
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